We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
