So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
