he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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