You're completely useless in the revolution.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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