Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
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It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
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From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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