im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
