she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
