Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
