Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
