Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
