So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
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i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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