The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
