I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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