Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
