Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize