just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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