Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
