the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
