There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
