You made me cry and you don't even care
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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