He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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