My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
