Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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