Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
