we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
