So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
