Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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