margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
