Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
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