I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
