Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
