Whod you bang
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
