this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize