when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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