that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
