i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
