Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
