and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
