"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
