i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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