i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
