I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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