Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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