i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
