yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just high enough for therapy.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
