where am i from again
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize