dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
