About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
