Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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