I need help removing her.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
