I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
