it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i wish my penis had a tongue
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My ATM looks so different sober.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
