they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.