Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos