I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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