I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
