How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
