Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
