I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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