it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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