she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
