Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Even my vagina gasped.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
