Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
How external is "for external use only"?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize