It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
