this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
